Urge surfing

Urge surfing means dealing with our emotions as though they were waves in the ocean. We've already seen how our emotions start small, grow over time to a peak, and then reduce till they disappear.

This whole process can happen so quickly that we're not even aware of it.

Think about a confident swimmer - when they see a wave approaching, they relax into the wave and, with a minimum of effort, tread water until the wave passes. A less confident swimmer might become tense, fight the wave, and splash around so much that they go under.

The confident swimmer knows there's nothing to fear, so is much more relaxed and deals with the waves much more easily. Urge surfing involves approaching each emotion secure in the knowledge that it'll pass, and secure in the knowledge that it won't hurt us.